Articles by Dahrla Mailman, Shodan

Karate Talk (Issue 3) Living the Five Rules….SELF CONTROL

SELF-CONTROL:

restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions or desires.
control of one’s emotions, desires or actions by one’s own will.
the trait of resolutely controlling one’s own behavior.

This month we will be discussing the very important third rule of self-control. Without self- control,it would not be possible to demonstrate the first two rules of effortand etiquette within our lives. Everything we do and every decision we make as responsible people involves using self-control. Indeed, our prisons are full of people who didn’t learn this lesson until it was too late! For the martial artist, exercising self-control is of paramount importance. Obviously, your training gives you an edge over others. When away from the dojo, the self-controlled martial artist will never provoke a fight, and will attempt to walk away from someone antagonistic. Of course, if this person insists on fighting, the martial artist has the right and the ability to defend herself!

Anger is not the only emotion we must learn to control— there is also annoyance, fear, contempt, depression, anxiety, hatred, etc. Self-control really begins in the mind and the heart. To quote Mr. Frank Outlaw, “Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny!”

Another way we must exercise self-control is over our negative impulses. The place where we allow these impulses the largest reign is usually at home where we are most comfortable. It’s easier to allow ourselves to have that extra serving of ice-cream, watch that TV program instead of doing our homework, take a nap instead of going to karate class, in a place where no one else will see us. However, this attitude is the precursor to the idea that the bad choices we make are not wrong unless we get caught! Unfortunately, the person who is most damaged by this concept is usually the person who holds it!

The Karate studio is another place where we must exercise self-control. Obviously, we have to learn physical self-control so we don’t hurt each other during sparring practice, but it also takes self-control to stay quiet during meditation, to refrain from moving when in front position, and to keep from arguing with the judges when they don’t call your point!

So, let us remember that even though self-control is not always easy or fun, it is always necessary in order to be a good person, a productive member of society, and a responsible martial artist!